sudah lama aku tidak menulis
hampir setengah bulan
sebabnya?
sibuk....? iya
malas....? iya
tapi mungkin juga sebabnya lebih pada suasana hati
yang kacau balau
mungkin PMS
mungkin lonely
yang pasti homesick....
how i miss my parents
my habit for christmas
baking cakes and cookies
going to church for advents, choir rehearsal and christmas mass
and entering that small room to ask forgiveness for sins i've done
i miss the cloudy day, sometimes rain
i miss sitting in the chair under the tent made on the church yard to anticipate overloaded mass
i miss the song "whispering hope", "Adeste Fideles", "Noel" or "Holy Night"
they didn't sing it in japanese mass here.
how i miss that
preparing gifts for everybody and put that under the tree
on the christmas eve, we will pray together and exchange gifts and eat "macaroni schootel" or "pastel"
and go to bed, because in the morning there'll be a lot of guests come to our house
i cried a lot on the 16th' s KMKI gathering
when they lit the candles
i couldn't sing along
too busy wiping my tears away
at least i got time to go on morning mass on the 25th
lucky!!!
but...
it was so different
the mass
the surrounding
the songs, to much gregorians song... dull...boring
i couldn't fell "joy" there
its a pity i didn't join the english mass on 4 o'clock
it must be happier
ohhh stop grumble
at the end of 2006
i feel relieved a little
2006 is a very sad, full of trouble
so many people around me dying, suffering mentally and physically
i really hope 2007 will be brighter
for me, for my family, for my country, for everyone
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